"You can come back to me"

Today I took some clothes,shoes and accessories to my sweet friend Amber. Due to more elimination, I had a large box and 2 decent sized bags full of more stuff that will not be going to Europe. I have a feeling this may take place right up to the day I leave. hehe

Amber and I have been friends for 5 years now. I first met her in the clinic where I worked. She came in with her newborn, Cheyenne. I saw this very young and terrified first time mom. Granted I am not a mom yet, but I had a bit more experience in babies at that time. She appeared nervous and had no idea what was wrong, if anything with her baby. I simply reassured Amber that her and her baby were in good hands and that we would answer any questions we could to help ease her mind. Through the years Amber and Chy become established patients with me and a friendship had been made. More time went by and Amber had another little girl, Miley Mae. Again, I was there with Amber and this new life she was bringing into the world. These two little girls have a great mommy. Amber does her best to raise her girls with respect and honesty. She teaches them to be fair and kind. And most importantly they are loved so deeply. I am so blessed to be a part of Amber's growth into a good hearted, loyal woman and mom. I am even more blessed to have her as a friend.

When I talked with Amber tonight we reminisced a bit and spoke about what I needed and what she could do to help. See what I mean...Then unexpectedly Amber said to me " And you know if you ever want to come back", with a pause from her and tears in my eyes I looked over at Amber trying to hold back her tears, then she genuinely choked out the words;" You can come back to me". With her hand clinching her heart,and tears flowing, I embraced her. We cried together and all I could get out was "I will always be with you." UGH it's starting. Through the past months I have only visualized what emotional state the good-byes would be in. That alone laid me out on the floor in agony. Even so, I have to say, It was much more then that when it took place today. There was a sense of truth and a friendship that I know is real. I love Amber and those precious girls. I feel that i have planted many seeds in all 3 of them, as they have done for me. And that wasn't our last time seeing each other before I leave either. It was more like the "I can't ignore that fact anymore"....overload...release...the sprinklers are on!!

The people that mean the most to me, the very ones who are a part in the making of who I am; I have to disconnect from in a way I never saw coming. Though I know " I will always be with you" means what it means. However, the removing myself from our circle means loss in several ways. I will miss out on certain things that I would normally share with my friends and their families. As they will miss out on certain things with me . That comfort in their company will be missed. The joy each personality brings to my life will have to be through a screen or on paper. The sound of their laughter or frustrations will be to far in the distance to hear.

Therefore, I am thankful for technology!! Yay, I can still stay in touch and in the circle and the love and support will still flow across the ocean that separates us. When I do come back, I know you all will be here waiting for me, and I will be more then ready to hug you, laugh with you and just be us!! You all are with me, I carry you everywhere I go. I need each and everyone of you. And I promise to always be here no matter how far God takes me to serve others, the way WE have served each other. Much love to ALL my girls, and you know who you are!!

Be blessed and may God clothe you in his Love and Peace.