All at Once 2

Hello Again!! Okay So where did I leave off? Oh yes......

A deeper look in to purpose: I have alot of things God has laid on my heart. I have alot of desires of my heart, that I feel God has given me. But, what I think some people skip past is that everything is in God's timing. I have been stubborn to this fact. I as well have been disobedient and did what I wanted and landed in quicksand. On 1.31.10 God told me something, and it really just made me understand something about him a bit more in who he is. To you it may seem as a "simple revelation", but if you are standing in my shoes,where I am at in my life now, you would get it on the level that I did. My life back home, all my Family, my friends, my church family, they were my life line. And they still are but I am on a new and different path now,so the life line has taken a different meaning or role if you would, in my life as well. They all were sunlight and water to my life. Each and everyone of them has a specific reason for being in my life. As well as they all breathed a certain amount of who I am into me.God can use us for remarkable things. Before I moved here, God pruned me to a nub. Now, I need sunlight and water to bloom again. And If you know anything about plants, they continuously grow bigger, fuller and more beautiful after each pruning.

 It allows new growth, new leaves,new blossoms,different shades of color, a more noticeable sent and so on. Before this takes place, the "nub" is not all that exciting to look at. Then you wonder, " what will this become?" " I wonder what is this and what is it's purpose?" "What can this nub bring into my life." First, I am doing all that I do, for God. My purpose and my growth will be from God. However, he will give water and sunlight to get me there. People here are just that. This city is that for me. I need them to bloom again. To become that bigger,brighter and fresh new bloom.The church and the people here, are my water and sunlight to grow here in HLinsko. I cannot grow, bloom and go forth in my destiny without them. My life line back home as well are still water and light for me. However their rainfall, may bath me in a deeper current and it's sunlight my come in at a wider angle more fluently.

We all are sunlight and water for each other. We are a part of God's garden, his kingdom. I am not sure of all the reasons that God has called me here for. I feel that I am here for something a bit more radical then expected. I was given the words "special delivery". What I am sure of is my heart, and I know God's heart. He is my heart. So , I know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be, and the rest he will bring.

(1.08.10 have to double check the correct date) I came home from church and started cooking something for lunch. During this ,I hear words pouring into my spirit. I stopped and said "do you want me to write this down?" I again hear these words with a bit more force this time and then the word "YES". SO I ran and got a pen and paper. I literally sat and wrote what appeared to be a song, in less then three minutes. I looked over what I wrote and I was stunned. I knew that, that was a door opening. Then I hear " give it to the youth, they will know what to do with it." I had a wave of joy fill me immediately. So I tucked this song away and waited for the moment to give it to the youth. I think it was a week or more before they had it in their hands. I was a church and I gave it to Katka and Jasmine and told them the message. Jasmine grabbed that piece of paper like it was going to fly away. The look on her face brought more joy to my heart. I think she knew. That girl may only be 12 years old but GOd has created a wise woman for our future and his kingdom. 

2.14.10 I finally got to hear this amazing song. I had holy ghost bumps from head to toe. I had to contain the emotions this song gave me. I wanted to jump up and down and cheer out, praising God with all my might.These kids rocked the house and the heaven's . They did such an beautiful job putting this song together. It had three different sounds. It starts out like a ballad, then it kicks into 3rd gear for some rock and during the bridge they bounced us with a little hip-hop. LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT!! It was a hit. I feel this song has an enormous statement and many people will receive and be blessed one way or another. Something will happen to you when you hear this song. I am not taking credit for this song. I was just the delivery person God chose to bring this gift to the youth. It was totally all God. Between my talent and the youth's talent, God got the job done. Now, there is an entire tilled field waiting for the seeds to be planted through this song and the ones shouting it out to their generation. If you want to hear the song, let me know and I will direct you to the website to hear it. I also will write the lyrics in this blog. I have to get them from the youth. I usually make copies of everyhitng I write, but I didn't this time. I look forward to seeing what more God does with these kids and the rest of the generation.

Childhood Freinds: When I was a little girl, I lived on this old road in Dekalb. It ran parallel with Rt.11  and rail road tracts. At each end of this road you could venture off onto the main highway. I lived in a trailer smack dab in the middle of this road. Across one side of the road was my best friend Eric. He and I were like Forest and Jenny, like peas and carrots. We did everything together. We would ride our bikes, I tried to keep up. We would run off into the woods like we were on this great adventure. Eric would catch frogs and all kinds of critters. Chased me with some too. I always wanted to be with Eric. I just liked being with him. I knew back then that Eric was sad and mad alot because of his family. So I always thought he'd feel better if we were together. He would teach me things all the time. He said he "learned it in boy scouts." One day he told me about White Birtch Trees and that if I ate the bark it would taste like root beer. Well I don't remember it tasting that way but I sure do remember ERic and the fun we had together. When I was eight years old ,I broke my right arm quite badly actually,doing cart wheels. I have a 6 inch scar to this day as a memory. That was right around the time we moved. I never saw Eric again. To try and make twenty some years updated in just a few senteces is hard.Through the years I would think about Eric. I wondered where he was, if he was happy and if he remembered me. Sometimes, certain things would happen and it would make me think about him. With in just a few days after I moved to Europe, Eric found me on face book and we have been catching up since. One thing I have noticed, is that I missed him. An ironic piece to this great story is that my dad's fiance just happens to be Eric's ex stepmom. Seriously!

Just last week I have been thinking about another buddy of mine. I have even tried looking for him on face book before. This past Sunday I woke up and went to see what messages my mom had left me. I received more then a message. I saw I had a friend request from Justin Hallett. Talk about freaked out. He was the very boy I was thinking about. See Justin lived down the other side of the road from Eric and I. So I lived in between the two greatest boy friends I have ever had. Justin was more the tough guy with long black hair and dark skin. The rebel.He had an addicting laugh and he was so sweet, I thought so anyway. I will never forget for my birthday Justin gave me the best gift. It was a porcelain pink chair with a white bear in it. I have pictures of it and I kept it for many years. It somehow like Justin, disappeared. I can't remember when I saw him last. I think however, that he was my first kiss. Out in the school play yard we were all playing tag. Or maybe it was Eric? You know I can't remember. I have repressed my childhood so deep, but God recently has been bringing some things to the surface. What he has thus far, have actually been good memories. I think he is showing me that I did have moments of being a little girl and they were fun too.

I got to thinking about how innocent and pure kid love and friendship is. I loved these two boys but it was a sweet and innocent love. The kind you see on Hallmark cards or in commercials. You don't find many friendships that pure anymore. Now in the day you can't be "just" friends with a guy without being accused of everything but. I have had many guy friends, I still do but I have been accused of much more. I too have lost freinds because of stupid stuff. Which means they probably were meant to be in my life anyway. I am enjoying the blessings that God has brought me by giving me back the two best guys from my past. Now they are all grown up and after hearing their stories I can't help but feel God has reunited us for a much greater reason then just beautiful memories. I see a great future as well. Being who I am and who they are and what they have been through, I know that God is calling them. Deep calling onto Deep. I am blessed by it all and can't wait to see it unfold.

Hearts grow fonder: Recently I have received a great bulk of emails. People back home have started to really realize that I am really here and not planning to be leaving anytime soon. I have been showered with much love and support. And to my surprise, some of this support comes from people I never thought would give me that or that knew me enough to care. People tell me how brave I am and how strong I am. They are reaching out a bit more in regards to supporting me more. I don't ask people for money or gifts. I simply tell them what they want to know. "What do you need Smae?" I give a list of things that could help me save money and provide some comfort as well. And I leave it up to them.

I have made a regular date time with my bestest friend, Kally. We speak every Saturday on skype. It seems weird sometimes to be so far away yet feel closer then ever. My life has suddenly become consumed by the internet. Answering emails ,chatting with my mom,my sister and other friends. But the beauty of the overwhelming consumption is that I see how hearts have grown from my distance. Not grown all for me but I think for God as well. They get to live this life with me. They are a part of my life. So I can see first hand how God uses distance to make our hearts grow fonder. I love each and everyone near and far and even the ones yet to come. I am blessed beyond measure, with love and support. My heart has grown as well. It has grown because I know now what true friendship feels like. I know what a soild support system does for my strength. I receive love and am able to love love love more then I have ever before. And I am a LOVER! But my love for God ....I have no words to express how deep my love is for him. The gratitude, and zeal that has birthed from this love. It is indescribable. My heart is spoken for.

As you know it is Lent. Each lent I fast for the 40 days. This year I will blog my lent experience instead of journaling it on paper. Great fun to be had. So stay tuned. And as Always, Thank you for Czeching In. May you all be filled with joy and peace. Much love and God bless you and yours.



                                        All my Love, CzGirl