40 Day Fast Week #2

This week has been a good one. I mainly spent time just thinking, praying and talking to my Father.Fasting can sometimes be like an out of body experience. You are there but you feel like you are else where. I felt like I have been in a bubble this week. I have had many burst of out pouring emotions and deep moments with God. Over all, the encounter of his love has been the greatest emotion received and expressed. I don't know how to even try to put that into words. Honestly, you can't really put God's love into words, when you experience his presence that way.

I have been really focusing on the Kingdom, my inheritance. I know that I am in it now, THE KINGDOM IS NOW. All I need comes from the kingdom and all God uses me for is for the Kingdom. I think about the strength and faith it takes for us as Christians to understand and maintain the mindset of the Kingdom and what it is for us.(what it already provides). Having the desires of my heart; some have been my entire life, some are recently new and others are yet to be discovered;Even then I have to trust in these desires as God's desires first.

I have spent most of my reading this week in Matthew. And where it has brought me is up to Jesus death. For his reasons, I have felt lead to stop there, for now. I will continue with other scripture regarding the kingdom.In addition to studying the Kingdom, I have divinely stumbled upon 2 teachings on youtube about Kingdom Authority and Purpose of Prayer by Dr.Myles Munroe.This guy is awesome and his message really penetrated my spirit. It was exactly what God wanted me to hear. Along with worshiping,I downloaded multiple random songs without really knowing what they were. All the songs this week were about God's love, laying it all down for him(dreams,desires,flesh,fear,all of it) and trusting in HIS plans for me. Holding onto HIS promises!! How appropriate.

I just love how God lines up what you need and what he wants you to know in this moment of his time. How he says with both passion and compassion,"Listen to me, I am here and I GOT you. You just need to rest in me. I know your heart,I know your needs and I know your desires and all your dreams. Just let me get you there, in my timetable." Now as a "human" that is a tough truth to swallow. Not because I doubt it but because I am still waiting.Patiently I might add,for all these things to come to pass. And to be in the reality of the visions and dreams I have. I have been waiting my entire life and yes somedays I think, "what the heck is he waiting for? I am ready for this, just let me have it. Get me there already God. It has been long enough!! I get that you are who you say you are!!"  But it don't work that way. As Christians we are still human and we still have things God has to fix in us, prepare us for,and be wise enough for. To get to that "moment" God has planned for,the very desire he gave us; it has to be at the exact right time in the destiny time table. Other wise his purpose for the Kingdom is not what we read and understand it to be. God doesn't lie, he does not mislead and he never ever is not on time.

During meditation and prayer,I had this thought, well maybe a revelation. I don't know. However it has been something I have known about myself but God helped me understand a more unique and deep reason for the thought. I am not nor have I ever been the girl who has always gotten what I wanted. More less, I am the girl who always got what I "needed". If that was not this case then I would be living in NYC pursuing an acting career with great success and married to the man that I have endlessly loved for many years and be the mother of his children. As fleshly as those desires are and how they still linger in my heart, I'd rather receive everything by the one who knows what I need and what is best for me. Opposed to what I want. It has been great proof to me that most of the things that I have wanted in my life , were not always the best for me in one way or another. Great life lessons was the best that came out of those situations.

I don't need nor do I really want a big fancy house. Rather, a just my size home that is comfortable ,tranquil and expresses who I am. Blessing and bringing peace to those who are being welcomed into my home. A small Ranch with my white horses. I too,don't need or desire the "BEST" of things. That is all they really are, are things. They are good for giving someone the sense of accomplishment,wealth and hopefully they can be a reminder of those less fortunate and what or who truly matters. For me a life full of Love, Laughter, Adventure,Family and Friends with Peace and Joy is what I desire. These are the gems in life that money can't buy. It's not about what success can give me or the image it labels me with. It's about Living a Life with God and what he will give me. Matthew 13:31-32 came to mind along with Matthew 6:33; Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Painting,I can't seem to stop painting. I have ran out of certain things but I keep finding something to paint on. Once I run out of paint , well then I have to find a way to get more paint. Katka came over and we had a day of worship,painting and piano lessons. We had so much fun . She is like a wave of inspiration for me. An anointing comes over the entire place when we get in motion. As you can see the result was quite amazing.

Kat's paintings were alive and beautiful. She first did the one below and describe what she received to be: Fire. Everything starts the same. And from God's awesomeness it spreads, hints the colorfulness.

Then she did the cross and heart next: I think it speaks for itself.God's love for us and how powerful it is.

Her third painting, yes she was on fire that night,another that speaks for itself: JOY.  

And finally, my absolute favorite that she did. I see so much in this painting,yet she sees something different. To me that is real art and to top it off, it came from the spirit. Her thought on this painting is that God is the same always and what he does is simply beautiful. You never know what God will do, adds to the fact that we both see a different creation by him in this art.

Here is a shot of all that was created that day.

This was another that I did the next day. I told you , I can't stop.

In addition to all the greatness God is doing he has added one more to my list. Dancing! Yeah! I love to dance, I have always been a dancer. To my own song that is. But there has been a birth of a new desire and I look forward to seeing what God is up to with this and in the mean time I am enjoying it and learning some new and pretty wild moves. The dance I will do is more then just the two step, a twist and shout, a dosey doe....It's... well, I don't know yet. I will remain in prayer for this to become what it is God has planted.

Well, another week complete. I look forward to the week ahead. I have struggled some in the connecting with family and friends area. It is hard to not check the net to see what everyone is doing and to not talk to people. Just know that I love you and no matter where I am and what I am doing you and you and you are with me. My love is a deep as the ocean. So until then, you are in my prayers, laugh out loud, dance in the rain and chase a butterfly. Take care of you and I will be seeing you.

                        As Always....All My Love, Girl

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.